Just watching the 10 o’clock news. We were told that crime is at a record low by the government just having learnt that no-one is to be prosecuted over the cash for honours scandal. Hmm.
(Hat Tip for the picture, the excellent Beau Bo D’Or)
I saw a copy of this letter which was supposedly sent to David Miliband whilst he was still at DEFRA. If it’s true, where do I sign up?
NIGEL JOHNSON-HILL, PARK FARM, MILLAND, LIPHOOK GU30 7JT
Rt Hon David Miliband MP
Secretary of State,
Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA)
Nobel House
17 Smith Square
London
SW1P 3JR
16 May 2007
Dear Secretary of State,
My friend, who is in farming at the moment, recently received a cheque for £3,000 from the Rural Payments Agency for not rearing pigs. I would now like to join the “not rearing pigs” business.
In your opinion what is the best kind of farm not to rear pigs on, and which is the best breed of pigs not to rear? I want to be sure I approach this endeavour in keeping with all government policies, as dictated by the EU under the Common Agricultural Policy. I would prefer not to rear bacon pigs. But if this is not the type you want not rearing, I will just as gladly not rear porkers. Are there any advantages in not rearing rare breeds such as Saddlebacks or Gloucester Old Spots, or are there too many people already not rearing these?
As I see it, the hardest part of this programme will be keeping and accurate record of how many pigs I haven’t reared. Are there any Government or Local Authority courses on this?
My friend is very satisfied with this business. He has been rearing pigs for forty years or so, and the best he ever made on them was £1,422 in 1968. That is – until this year, when he received a cheque for not rearing any.
If I get £3,000 for not rearing 50 pigs, will I get £6,000 for not rearing 100?
I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to about 4,000 pigs not raised, which will mean about £240,000 for the first year. As I become more expert in not rearing pigs, I plan to be more ambitious, perhaps increasing to, say, 40,000 pigs not reared in my second year, for which I should expect about £2.4 million from your department. Incidentally, I wonder if I would be eligible to receive tradable carbon credits for all those pigs not producing harmful and polluting methane gases?
Another point: these pigs that I plan not to rear will not eat 2,000 tonnes of cereals. I understand that you also pay farmers for not growing crops. Will I qualify for payments for not growing cereals to not feed the pigs I don’t rear?
I am also considering the “not milking cows” business, so please send any information you have on that too. Please could you also include the current DEFRA advice on set aside fields? Can this be done on an e-commerce basis with virtual fields (of which I seem to have several thousand hectares)?
In view of the above you will realise that I will be totally unemployed, and will therefore qualify for unemployment benefits.
I shall of course be voting for your party at the next general election.
Yours faithfully,
Nigel Johnson-Hill
After much speculation on our part and deliberation on his, Boris Johnson has confirmed that he is entering the race to become Mayor of London. He will now become hot favourite to be announced as the Conservative candidate at the Blackpool conference in October with the election against Ken Livingstone next May.
This will kick-start the campaign with the Conservatives finally finding a candidate with a very high profile and experience in the media. We have several others that are more than capable of running London better than Livingstone, but Boris does have a considerable advantage in the campaign with his high name recognition.
I’m just waiting for the Boris v Ken debate with grand inquisitors Paul Merton and Ian Hislop.
The site on the corner of Ruskin Road and Park Lane has been empty for sometime. Eric and I met with Council Officers this week to see the proposed development that is set to replace the buildings. In place of the bungalows, it is proposed to build six semi-detached affordable houses and a block of twelve flats would replace the house.
The height of the development would step up from the existing bungalow on the corner of Rotherfield Road to the flats which look as though they will be a similar height to the neighbouring house in Park Lane.
Eric and I will try to get around as many neighbouring houses as possible to find out what you think. In the meantime (or if you don’t live in the immediate vicinity), you can look at the plans here. Let us know what you think in the comments below or email council@scully.org.uk where you can leave your contact details to get direct updates from us on this development.
Last night I attended Stanley Park High School’s first “Sports Personality of the Year Awards”. I enjoyed myself too much to take photos so you’ll have to make do with one cobbled together from the internet. Robbie Earle was the special guest presenting awards to the many children who had excelled over the last year at everything from football to table tennis. They took pride in getting their medals, trophies and certificates from the former Wimbledon football player. A member of the nineties team known as the “Crazy Gang”, he went on to represent Jamaica at the World Cup scoring their first ever goal against Croatia. He now writes for the Evening Standard and is a pundit on ITV’s Champions League programme. That’s quite a list of accomplishments for the kids to look up to.
The event was really well attended by proud parents and children. We saw displays from trampolinists, gymnasts and dancers. Interestingly gymnastics is the fastest growing sport at the school, helped along by a £10,000 award which bought plenty of equipment. If the new school is built on the Orchard Hill site, more playing fields and better facilities will encourage even more children to take part and acheive great things or at least keep healthy and have fun.
I helped conduct a Citizenship Ceremony on Wednesday. Eight people pledged their allegiance to the Queen and their new country as they formalised their decision to make Britain their home.
I enjoyed speaking to the people from all parts of the globe who were brimming with pride and had a real enthusiasm. Previously, applicants had to swear an oath of allegiance in front of a solicitor and had their certificate sent in the post. Apart from the fact that I wouldn’t trust the new Border and Immigration Agency to post me anything, this ceremony does instil a degree of civic pride. Marion, (photo, left) hosted the ceremony with a mix of professionalism and genial host.
Immigration is one of the very biggest political issues of our time.It is a real problem that the government have absolutely no control of. However, this doesn’t mean that we need to lose all perspective at every mention of the word. Some will baulk at the very thought of such a ceremony. We rightly hope and expect people settling in this country to assimilate and adopt our culture and society. This will never happen by putting our head in the sand hoping everyone will go away. By giving the warmest welcome to those who can make a contribution to the UK and toughening up our border controls against those who have no such intentions, we can maintain our historical position of adopting the very best of the world whilst not being a soft option for those only seeking a better life to be funded from the State.