Sutton Council recently sent a letter to a property in Cedar Road, Sutton with a booklet explaining how to clear up after a flood, how to claim on insurance, how to protect your property and about temporary housing. The Environment Agency includes such nuggets such as “wear your gloves when clearing up after a flood as water may contain sewage, chemicals and animal waste.”

As you may have gleaned from the title of this article, the council-government partnership have a little to learn about target marketing. The addressee died over two years ago. The first floor flat, far from being first for the sandbags, would make a perfect mooring point should Noah need to drop in.

The only flood plain identified by the local authority is around the banks of the River Wandle in Beddington. Quite why flats in the middle of Sutton Town Centre are being targeted is beyond me. How much has this futile exercise cost?